Last updated: February 23. 2013 2:47PM - 592 Views

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Buh-bye, iron. Sayonara and nice to know ya. Monopoly fans have spoken, and, you, life-sucking little apparatus, have been kicked to the curb, in favor of a more of-the-moment kitty cat.


Reportedly, the recent gameboard-token Facebook face-off brought to us by Hasbro Inc. came down to the wire and created quite the frenzy. At the 11th hour, as folks scrambled to try to save their favorite pieces from extinction, the shoe and the wheelbarrow battled for their lives with the iron, which ultimately gave up the ghost.


Ah well. The people of Facebook nation got it right, I say. After all, some of us now regard shoes as high art, and footwear isn’t going anywhere anytime soon regardless.


And the wheelbarrow? Personally I can take one or leave one, and I certainly have had more use for an iron in my life. However, as something of a cheap-chic home-improvement addict, I will attest that a borrowed barrow certainly has proven handy on multiple occasions and cut down on dreadful delivery charges in the process. And a wheelbarrow one of the trendiest vessels going to replace the basket in a “basket of cheer” – if you’ve ever found yourself organizing a raffle. Who wouldn’t want a snazzy new one?


Meanwhile, upstairs in a seldom-used room back at the ranch, sits yet another Mount Washmore-style pile of clean clothes that have not yet succeeded in motivating me to de-wrinkle them. Truly, I’d rather scrub toilets. And I even own a Rowenta.


Yes, that’s a blatant shout-out to the platinum-level iron-maker that probably rightfully huffed and puffed at this brazen Monopoly move and hurriedly launched a PR campaign to tout the iron’s societal relevance and decry its new social status as some kind of medieval torture instrument our grandmothers used to use.


If they say so …


OK, so I jest. It’s one thing to say if Monopoly can ditch the iron so can I, but regular dry-cleaning is not in my budget, and I haven’t yet found a handheld steamer that truly wows or saves any more time than an iron. So my snazzy, sizzling Rowenta and I will not part ways just yet.


Not that I don’t long for that golden day when all fabrics will just come out of the dryer wrinkle-free. Or at least when we can all live the Orbit City life of George and Jane, Judy and Elroy with a robot named Rosie who handles all the chores while we laze around Skypad Apartments.


But, alas, how many of us will be around in 2062 to see this Jetsons vision come to pass? Perhaps the hopelessness is why the robot, which battled the cat for the one open place on the Monopoly board, didn’t prevail. (Robots may have come a long way in medical science, but as far as I know, domestically speaking, we hit a wall after the Roomba.)


Also scratched out of contention by the cat were a guitar, a helicopter and a diamond ring. My guesses? The didgeridoo and the like are now hipper than the guitar. And dismal marriage stats and an overabundance of helicopters on ABC’s “The Bachelor” have soured us on the other two.


Just speculating. No doubt cats are ultra-cool – I know and love a few, in fact – and probably giving dogs a run for their money in the popularity contest. People have even tried to persuade me to get one.


To that I say … I’m in. As long as those little paws can pick up an iron.

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