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SWOYERSVILLE — Did you ever hear a really bad chorus? The kind that falls somewhere between a rusty, swinging gate and fingernails on a chalkboard?

That’s how Sister Mary Robert, Sister Mary Patrick and their fellow nuns sound at the beginning of “Sister Act,” and it’s not surprising, what with Sister Mary Lazarus urging everyone to “pick the key (you) like the best.”

The convent’s newest member, Sister Mary Clarence, is used to a better blending of voices and, in Music Box Playhouse’s production of the musical comedy — which opens April 22 — she offers to help the nuns improve the way they sound.

Actually, it’s more like she throws down a challenge.

“You’re not afraid of hard work, are you?” LaToya Martin, of Scranton, asks in her role as Sister Mary Clarence.

“I’m a nun,” Kalen Churcher, of Plymouth, replies in her role as Sister Mary Lazarus. “My life is like the Stations of the Cross, without the laughs.”

Suffice it to say, the nuns are not afraid of hard work. In almost no time at all, Sister Mary Clarence has the group “rejoicing, singing to the Lord,” and sounding more like angels.

“I get chills,” said cast member Amber Familetti, of Scranton, predicting audiences will enjoy the nuns’ newfound harmony as much as she does.

But Sister Mary Clarence isn’t really a nun. As anyone who has seen Whoopie Goldberg in the 1999 movie version of the story knows, Sister Mary Clarence is really a lounge singer named Deloris who saw her ruthless gangster boyfriend commit murder and is now hiding from him in the least likely place.

“A convent is so far above her moral character,” said Dave Giordano, who plays the gangster. “He’d never expect to find her there.”

Throughout much of the show, director T. Doyle Leverett said, Deloris is at odds with the woman who runs the convent.

“Mother Superior is very legalistic,” Leverett said. “While Deloris brings an infectious spirit of celebration and helps her become more humanized, Mother Superior helps Deloris become more spiritual. It’s a gift they give each other.”

“I like to direct social-message things and the first time I read this I thought it was silly,” he admitted. “The more I read it, (I realized) it is my type of show.”

Leverett described the female characters as “strong, capable women” and the gangster’s henchmen as “the biggest bunch of musical comedy thugs you’ve ever seen.”

As for gangster Curtis, who was singing onstage during a recent rehearsal, Leverett said, “There’s nothing redeeming in that character. Listen to the lyrics.”

“When I find that girl, I’m gonna kill that girl!” Giordano sang. “Won’t rest until that girl is safe and sound, six feet below.”

Hmm. He sounds like the kind of guy you’d never find hiding in a monastery.

The nuns in the musical ‘Sister Act’ aren’t quite sure what to make of their new member, who’s really on the run from a gangster.
https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/web1_sisteract.tonednuns-1.jpg.optimal.jpgThe nuns in the musical ‘Sister Act’ aren’t quite sure what to make of their new member, who’s really on the run from a gangster. Submitted photos

Dolores (Latoya Martin) and Curtis (Dave Giordano) do not have the most loving relationship. In fact, he will threaten her life.
https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/web1_dolores-1.jpg.optimal.jpgDolores (Latoya Martin) and Curtis (Dave Giordano) do not have the most loving relationship. In fact, he will threaten her life. Submitted photos

By Mary Therese Biebel

[email protected]

IF YOU GO

What: ‘Sister Act,’ the musical based on the 1999 film starring Whoopie Goldberg

Who: Presented by Music Box Players

Where: Music Box Dinner Playhouse, 196 Hughes St., Swoyersville

When: April 22 to May 7 with shows 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays and 3 p.m. Sundays. Buffet meal served 90 minutes prior to curtain.

Tickets: Dinner and show: $35 adults, $24 children 12 and younger. Show only, $18, $14.

Reservations: 570-283-2195

Reach Mary Therese Biebel at 570-991-6109 or on Twitter @BiebelMT