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The new numbers are in and, health-wise, Luzerne County hasn’t hit rock bottom in Pennsylvania. But you can sure see it from here.

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation released its county health rankings Wednesday, a look at every county in the country through the lens of health statistics like smoking, drinking, pollution and obesity, to name a few.

Of Pennsylvania’s 67 counties, Luzerne ranked 64th, right above sylvan Sullivan, oft-forgotten Fayette (southwest corner) and perpetual bottom-dweller Philadelphia.

The healthiest county? Chester, which miraculously manages to avoid letting any of neighboring Philly’s faults rub off.

So what makes them so darn fit and us so, um, less so?

A few comparisons:

• Cheeky Chester boasts far better numbers on premature deaths, measured as years of potential life lost before age 75 per 100,000 people. Here, we lost 8,400 years; in Chester it was 4,800.

• Here, 18 percent of adults smoke; there, it’s 14 percent. Here, 29 percent of adults are obese; there, it’s 24 percent. Here, a whopping 30 percent of us qualify as physically inactive. There, it’s a paltry 17 percent.

• Somewhat surprisingly, they have slightly more excessive drinkers, 17 percent in Luzerne County and 19 percent in Chester. Or maybe it’s not that odd. Have you seen the bars near West Chester College on a Saturday night?

• Not to be shocking, but Luzerne County needs some serious condom marketing. The rate of newly diagnosed chlamydia cases here was just shy of 274 per 100,000; in Chester, it was 189. Teen births are much higher here, 30 per 1,000 women ages 15-19, compared to 13 there.

• Chesterites (Chesterians? Chesters?) are more likely to have insurance, with a 9 percent uninsured rate compared to 12 percent here. They have an easier time finding primary care physicians, with one doctor for every 1,140 people, compared to one for every 1,260 people here. And it’s twice as easy to get a mental health provider there, with one for every 510 people compared to one for every 1,040 here.

• Perhaps paradoxically, we graduate more from high school — 88 percent compared to 82 percent — but they have far more adults (25-44) with some college, only 59 percent here compared to 75 percent there.

• There is no way to make light of this: 24 percent of Luzerne County children under 18 live in poverty; only 9 percent do in Chester. We also do a tragic job of having complete families: 42 percent of children live in single-parent households, compared to 18 percent in Chester.

• Violent crime is more rampant here, 286 reported cases per 100,000 compared to 165 there. And we are much more likely to die from injury, at a rate of 69 per 100,000.

• We have one decisive advantage: We have far fewer long commutes driving alone. Among those who drive alone, 25 percent here travel 30 minutes or more. In Chester, it’s 41 percent.

Of course, on the Schuylkill Expressway in rush hour, a 30-minute ride could be all of five miles.

And if you’re wondering how our neighbors (other than Sullivan) fared (knowing they fared better than Luzernites), wonder no more: Lackawanna County ranked an unimpressive 60th, Schuylkill came in 61st, Carbon 58th, Monroe 48th and Wyoming 43rd.

By Mark Guydish

[email protected]

Reach Mark Guydish at 570-991-6112 or on Twitter @TLMarkGuydish