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Housewives new and old: Marcia Cross, Nicollette Sheridan (killed off but fighting for her job back), Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher and Eva Longoria.
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Paul Young is the man who will not die, and Susan Delfino is the hapless, helpless woman who most recently tried to off him.
Nah, of course not. As if.
This particular housewife may seem quite a bit more desperate than the average female resident of Wisteria Lane, but we all know she can’t hurt a fly. Try to tell that to our dead narrator Mary Alice’s sinister husband, who’s now downed several plates of her antifreeze-laced food.
This is the best we get heading into Sunday’s “Desperate Housewives” season finale, eh? Well, OK, that and a potential murder. Of Gaby no less.
First, the poisoning. It was all plotted by recently sprung jailbird Felicia Tilman, who set Susan up to take the fall. And just when you thought that’s all you’d get, someone started lurking, Freddy Kreuger-like, outside Gaby and Juanita’s front-yard tent.
Who was/is that creepy, unmasked man anyway?
Oh, the questions as yet another season drops curtain for summer.
Will the mystery killer prove more interesting than yet another Tom and Lynette knock-down, drag-out? We all know the lovebirds will survive.
The smart money says Eva Longoria will, too, and that if the killer kills anybody it’ll be a nobody.
After that, one of the only remaining storylines is already tired. Yet another responding police officer (or in this case, detective) falls for the single woman (Bree) who answers the door (or rolls down the window)? Please.
At least in the movie “Bridesmaids,” which opens today, the idea, though predictable, makes for plenty of late-in-the-game laughs.
As for this guy, the only thing thickening the plot is the hint that he doesn’t really go for the womenfolk anyway and has perhaps eased on down the lane for an entirely different reason.
Who needs daytime soaps?
“DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES,” SEASON FINALE,
9-11 p.m. Sunday on ABC.