TUNED INGeri Anne KaikowskiStaff columnist

Last updated: August 23. 2014 10:19AM - 643 Views
By Geri Anne Kaikowski

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They’re handing out trophies and even surfboards and then sliming recipients in gold and green.

Just about every fan group, critics association and demographic is distributing awards to stars today and you the TV viewer are privy to all the action — from the latest red carpet fashions to the juicy behind-the-scenes details.

But it’s not your average Best Film and Best Actress categories anymore. Thanks to MTV and their Video Music and Movie Awards, there are more creative, awe inspiring and just plain stupid categories like Best Kiss, Choicest Summer Song and Best Catfight.

And that’s what makes the shows all the more fun and all the more vapid — and sometimes unnecessary. But, after all, what else would you be watching?

Get ready for two more big trophy TV events.

The MTV Video Music Awards air on Sunday, Aug. 24, and the Primetime Emmy Awards on Monday, Aug. 25. Now, which one do you think will get more buzz?

One year ago, we weren’t sure what twerking was, never really gave those weird foam fingers a second thought and considered Robin Thicke to be the son of that guy from “Growing Pains” who got lucky and had a hit record.

Then, Miley Cyrus took the stage, stripped to a nude bikini and danced with a teddy before she gave Thicke a lap dance and then really blurred the lines between Disney star and sleazy star.

And everybody began talking about the performance of the night that later saw Cyrus’ and Thicke’s lives turn into a “Wrecking Ball.”

This is the same awards shows that gave us Kanye West ruining Taylor Swift’s big moment, Britney kissing Madonna and Beyonce rubbing her tummy to signify she was pregnant. And don’t forget Lady Gaga’s dress made of meat.

So, what’s gonna happen tomorrow besides some stars bringing home moonmen? Will Beyonce, leading the pack of nominees with eight, beat up hubby Jay Z on stage? Will Ariana Grande turn into the next Miley?

On the other hand, Monday night’s Emmy show looks rather tame unless Tatiana Maslany bumrushes the stage to take the trophy away from Julia Louis Dreyfuss. The worse thing that could happen is “Game of Thrones” doesn’t win anything.

There already were two youth driven awards shows this month that you may have missed.

The Teen Choice Awards hand out cool surfboards to young stars, whose star power rises fast and then sinks by the time next year’s awards show is held. Remember the kids from “High School Musical”?

The Young Hollywood Awards are much of the same thing minus the surfboards. The big winner on that show was “Orange is the New Black,” which made me both impressed and upset at the same time that teens have Netflix. At their age, I was watching four channels, count’em, ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS. And I certainly wasn’t tuning in to something like “OITNB.”

Organizations like Billboard and iHeart Radio want to steal Grammy’s thunder, but they miss the beat with their dull shows.

And country music has a whole slew of trophy shows, like the CMAs, the CMTs and the ACMAs. Got that? Well, all you need to know is that whatever show you’re watching chances are Carrie Underwood, Luke Byran, Miranda Lambert and hubby Blake Shelton are nominated.

The winter season gives us the run for the gold — as in Oscar — starting off with the People’s Choice Awards in January, where, if you see a star in the audience, you know immediately he or she won because the winners are tipped off ahead of time so they will attend. The Golden Globes are up next as are the Screen Actors Guild Awards followed by the Big Kahuna, the Golden Boy, the Only One That Really Counts, or as Hollywood calls it, the Academy Awards.

The best part of awards season for me has got to be the fashion rundown provided on special editions of E!’s “Fashion Police.” Choicest Fashion Citation anyone? Someone please give Joan Rivers a golden hanger for her no-holds barred politically, socially and morally incorrect humor. All that, and she’s usually spot on in her fashion critiques.

Awards shows are a fun way to relax in front of the TV and get your celebrity fix. The rule of thumb for viewers is that you shouldn’t take them too seriously. You got that, Kanye?

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