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Wilkes-Barre resident Isabel Bannon said her mother-in-law made the same plea for decades — to stay at home as she grew old.
“Don’t you ever put me in one of those places. Put me in the cellar or put me in the attic and give me bread and water,” Bannon recalled her familiar appeal.
Bannon, who is in her 70s, has managed to honor that wish, largely due to a Luzerne County government program that provides funding to help family caregivers.
Her mother-in-law, now 98, started showing signs of dementia and other health problems approximately six years ago. Bannon said she and her husband, who was an only child, provide round-the-clock care and stick to a regimented schedule. She declined to identify her husband and mother-in-law to protect their privacy.
“We’ll do it as long as we can. When our best is not good enough, then we’ll go to the alternative, which I hope we never have to do,” Bannon said.
Representatives of the Area Agency on Aging for Luzerne/Wyoming Counties urge families to apply for the agency’s caregiver support program, saying funding is available to serve more than the current 162 participating families.
The program initially provides income-eligible families up to $200 per month toward certain services and supplies, ranging from nutritional supplements and incontinence products to day care or other accommodations that relieve caregivers, said Cindy Howe, the agency’s caregiver program supervisor.
Program participants also are eligible for up to $2,000 toward the cost of home modifications and assistance devices, such as chair lifts or bathtub seats and grab bars, Howe said.
Keeping the elderly home as long as safely possible is the agency’s mission, said county aging Executive Director Mary Roselle.
Before signing up for the program around two years ago, Bannon said she and her husband were unable to attend family reunions, visit their grandchildren or even go for an ice cream together.
The caregiver program helps pay for someone to periodically visit her mother-in-law’s home and for day care stays once or twice a week. Initially feeling guilty leaving the elderly woman with someone else, Bannon said she and her husband of 53 years realized occasionally taking time out “as a couple” was important.
Meals, bathing, medication dosing and clothing changes are carried out like clockwork in the Bannon household.
“You have to have that continuity,” said Bannon, who also squeezes in a part-time job as a Wilkes-Barre Area School District crossing guard.
Bannon steels herself when her patient exhibits bursts of anger, picks at her bandages or resists medication, understanding the behavior stems from her condition and resentment at the fact she now needs help getting dressed and with other basic tasks.
“That’s probably the hardest part — her disposition — because she was always the sweetest, sweetest person.”
She still vividly recalls her in-laws welcoming her with “open arms” when she arrived here on a Greyhound bus with their 6-month-old grandson in 1964. Their son was in the service, and Bannon had met them once.
“They were unbelievable, so good to us, to me,” she recalled, choking up.
She also regrets she was powerless to keep her own mother out of a nursing home, which was necessary when she could no longer talk, walk or feed herself.
Bannon relishes moments of affection, like the times her mother-in-law reaches out for her when she picks her up from day care.
“We’re lucky to have her all these years,” she said.
Her county case manager, Ann Marie Hirko, said Bannon’s resiliency is an inspiration.
“That’s the whole point of the program. It’s supposed to ease the burden of the caregiver,” Hirko said.