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Mourners need friends’ support
The holidays can be a difficult time for people mourning the loss of a loved one. People who care about the bereaved are often unsure of how to help. The most important thing you can offer is to show you care by being present, listening and being supportive.
Following are some suggestions:
• Acknowledge all feelings. The person’s grief reactions are natural and necessary. Do not pass judgment on how he or she is coping.
• Understand and accept cultural and religious perspectives about illness and death that might be different from your own. For example, if a family has decided to not allow its children to attend the funeral because of its beliefs that children should not be exposed to death, support the decision even if this might not be what you would do.
• Acknowledge that life won’t feel the same and the person might not be able to get back to normal. Help the person to renew interest in past activities and hobbies, when he or she is ready, or to discover new areas of interest. Offer suggestions for activities, but be accepting if your offer is declined.
• Be willing to stay engaged for a long time. Your friend or family member will need your support and presence in the weeks and months to come after most others have withdrawn.
• Be specific in your willingness to help. Offer assistance with chores such as childcare or meals. For example, suggest, “I’ll bring dinner on Thursday; how many people will be there?”
• Check on your friend or relative as time passes and months go by. Periodic check-ins can be helpful throughout the first two years after the death. Stay in touch by writing a note, calling, stopping to visit or perhaps buying flowers.
• Be sensitive to holidays and special days. For someone who is grieving a death, certain days can be especially hard. Some people find it helpful to be with family and friends, others might wish to avoid traditions and try something different. Extend an invitation to someone who might otherwise spend time alone during a holiday or special occasion, and recognize that he or she might or might not accept your offer.
Drilling needs safety measures
I have been trying to understand the issues involved in the natural gas drilling controversy in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I have read most of the articles and editorials in local newspapers, reviewed several websites, attended an informational meeting presented by the Gas Drilling Awareness Coalition and viewed the “60 Minutes” segment.
I would have to classify my research efforts as unscientific and informal, but it became obvious that drilling companies have contributed very little to help the public understand the complexities and potential dangers involved in gas drilling and hydraulic fracturing.
Drilling companies apparently have had no need to articulate their perspective or become involved in a dialogue over the alarming number of issues associated with gas drilling, so they haven’t.
Since 2004, they have been exempt from federal regulations such as the Safe Drinking Water Act. Gas drilling companies have no need to discuss anything; it seems federal law and the state Department of Environmental Protection are on their side.
Our lawmakers have given them an open invitation to do as they please, thus placing the public in harm’s way. A significant number of state representatives have accepted campaign donations from gas drilling companies. I am sure the drillers expect their interests to be moved forward. The governor-elect has accepted about $1 million in campaign contributions from drilling companies and then proceeded to place one of its executives on his transition team.
Representatives of the federal and state governments have placed the residents of Northeastern Pennsylvania in a dangerous position. There is a possibility that the drinking water, the air quality and the beauty of the local environment could be seriously compromised by the introduction of gas drilling.
My final option: It is hoped that township officials will display the courage and integrity necessary to represent the rights of their citizens over the financial profits of gas drilling companies.
It would be advisable for officials from a number of townships, along with legal counsel, to meet with drilling company representatives, and the public, to conduct a critical review of all issues involved. At the conclusion of this collaborative effort, plans could be developed to address public safety issues.
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