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Editor’s note: A version of this editorial has appeared in prior years on or near the Valentine’s Day holiday. We reprint it today in hopes that it reaches the right person at the right time.
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Love doesn’t punch.
Love doesn’t threaten or taunt.
Love doesn’t try to dictate who your friends are and push you away from your family.
Love won’t scream in your face, calling you a whore and a dozen other nasty names. It won’t text horrible messages to you or seek to embarrass you on Facebook. It won’t sneak looks at your cellphone history, tracking who else you called.
Love never accuses.
Love never deliberately locks you out of the house or trashes your belongings, then begs for forgiveness.
Love won’t purposefully crush your spirit, then pretend to be your only fan. Love won’t force you to drink alcohol, take drugs, commit crimes or lie for it. Love won’t look past you, leering at your friend.
Love won’t arrive in the middle of the night, reeking of alcohol, demanding sex. It won’t wave a gun muzzle in your direction or slide a knife blade over your skin. It won’t terrorize the children.
Love never kicks you in the stomach, hurts the dog or hits the baby.
Love doesn’t demean.
Love won’t intentionally put your life in jeopardy or send you to an emergency room, bruised, bleeding and broken. Love won’t give you a black eye, then cover up the cause when people ask what happened. Love won’t laugh at your pain. Love won’t turn away the police at the door, telling them the noise was just a shelf falling and that everything’s OK.
Love doesn’t make endless excuses.
Love won’t use you to look better in front of its friends or simply to feel good about itself. It won’t arrive unannounced and cause an ugly scene at your workplace or school. It never leaves you feeling totally dependent, helpless even, and wondering, dear God, what should I do.
Love doesn’t abuse and apologize, abuse and apologize and return to abuse again.
That’s not love.
And no amount of drugstore candy, Valentine’s Day cards or paper hearts can conceal the truth.
If you – or someone you know – is in an abusive relationship, get help from the professionals who understand the emotional damage and all-too-real danger of domestic violence. Ask for advice on how to escape the situation as soon as possible.
Find safe shelter. Stop the hurt.