Last updated: February 20. 2013 12:13AM - 287 Views

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>> A GOOD AULD TIME: Farewell 2012. Welcome 2013! Yes, tonight is New Year‚??s Eve, and that means one thing: The world is about to throw a big auld party. And while people will celebrate in their own way, many of us will be partaking in adult beverages. This can cause all sorts of problems, as has been the case since the Sumerians invented beer in 2,500 B.C. ‚?? a year known in ancient stone texts as ‚??The year without pants.‚?Ě But no matter where you celebrate, remember, be safe and don‚??t drink and drive. And don‚??t wear a lampshade on your head. That‚??s soooo 1950s.

>> BOWLED OVER: The college football landscape may have changed in recent years, but there‚??s one thing that remains constant: New Years Day is still the heart of the bowl season. If you love football, then sit your behind on the couch starting at noon for the Gator Bowl on ESPN2, or the Heart of Dallas Bowl on ESPNU. The Outback Bowl is on at 1 p.m. on ESPN while the Capital One Bowl starts at the same time on ABC. The Rose Bowl has the 5 p.m. hour all to itself on ESPN and the Orange Bowl gets a prime-time slot at 8:30 p.m. on ESPN. Then at 9:30, it‚??s the Chef Boyardee Fiscal Cliff Bowl on CSPAN2. ‚?Ľ OK, that last one‚??s not real.

>> HANGING, PREGNANT OR DIMPLED? Remember all the fun we had back in 2000 when the nation had its undies in a bunch over Florida‚??s election habits? Who can forget those heady days when thousands of folks examined millions of paper punch ballots for the slightest hint of a perforation and the term ‚??dimpled chad‚?Ě was born. Well, someone has decided to keep those events fresh in our minds by declaring Jan. 4 as ‚??Dimpled Chad Day.‚?Ě It‚??s a day to remember all the contested elections of the world ‚?? which is something one would think, we‚??d try hard to forget.

>> A MOVIE WITH BUZZ: Dear Hollywood. Thank you for making yet another ‚??Texas Chainsaw Massacre‚?Ě movie. If there‚??s one thing I long for, it is the cinematic beauty of one human being chopping another into little tiny bits. I am especially excited that you have chosen to make the new film in 3D. Now I can thrill with the rest of the audience as the buzzing, gas-powered death machine leaps out of the screen and stops an inch from my nose. Or, someone‚??s freshly squeezed eyeball lands in my lap. Thank you, Hollywood, because now I know what I will be doing this Friday when ‚??Texas Chainsaw 3D‚?Ě opens ‚?Ľ I‚??ll be going to see ‚??The Hobbit‚?Ě again.

>> MINING FOR SHOWS: If you look in the dictionary in the office of any TV executive, there is one word you won‚??t find: Originality. Case in point: Somewhere at The Discovery Channel there was a planning meeting that went something like this ‚?Ľ ‚??I have an idea for our new hit show. Everyone loves those crusty gold miners on ‚??Gold Rush,‚?? right? And everyone goes all gaga for those lovable, yet crusty crab fisherman on ‚??Deadliest Catch,‚?? am I right? Well, picture this. We take gold mining and combine it with boats and we‚??ll call it ‚??Bering Sea Gold.‚?? It can‚??t miss.‚?Ě And thus, a new reality series is born. If you really like mining done on boats, then check it out at 10 p.m. Friday.

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