Around Town: Seeing the heart and soul of Mexico

About a year ago, I bought tickets for a trip to Mexico.

Oscar, my partner of three years, and I decided we’d spend 10 days total in Mexico, starting in Mexico City, stopping off in the town of Tepoztlán and ending in Acapulco. Oscar was born in Mexico and has deep roots there, so along the way we’d stop and visit his family members in two different towns in the state of Morelos, but for the most part it would be a touristy-type vacation which ended at a resort on the beach.

It all sounded idyllic to me.

I’ve been vacationing in Mexico for nearly 15 years. Cancun, Puerto Morelos, Puerto Vallarta and Tulum have all been favorites of mine. I’ve particularly spent a lot of time in Cancun where the Caribbean water is crystal clear, the resorts are luxurious and English is spoken as commonly as Spanish. I never had to put much effort into the vacation, and I craved the relaxation.

Acapulco would be a new adventure for me, Oscar had been there before, and my hero John F. Kennedy honeymooned there with his bride, Jacqueline Bouvier, in 1953. I’d read stories about their vacation, researched the location and set my heart on seeing a new place.

However, right before we departed on Thursday, Oct. 26, a record-breaking Category 5 hurricane pummeled through Acapulco leaving it in ruins. The images and videos showed structures torn apart and major devastation affecting more than 500,000 homes and businesses. It was reported that 80% of Acapulco’s hotels, including ours, were impacted, by the storm called Otis.

My heart goes out to the families and business owners rebuilding and recovering from this devastation.

As we boarded our flight that night, we hadn’t decided what we would do during the days we’d planned to be in Acapulco now that visiting was out of the question.

Once we landed, we went about our touristy-trip plans, starting in Mexico City (I’ll write more about that next week) before stopping in Tepoztlán. We rented a quaint, rustic villa in the hills and loved every minute of the cobblestone roads, buzzing marketplaces and overall charm of this “magic town” in Morelos, just south of Mexico City.

We relaxed in the pool, ate cecina (a salty cured beef) and mole (a tasty Mexican sauce) on rooftops, bought souvenirs and hiked up the Tepozteco Pyramid, which ends with stunning views of the town.

It was amazing, and I truly felt so blessed Oscar introduced me to these scenes.

Still, the best was yet to come.

He asked how I would feel about staying with his family in Jonacatepec, a city of about 15,000 also in the state of Morelos where his mother grew up and his maternal family still resided. We’d also spend more time in his hometown of Atlacahualoya than originally planned.

Of course I agreed. How lovely it would be to meet his extended family and see where he grew up?

I forgot about one small part: I don’t speak Spanish and this was not like the tourist destinations I’d so often visited. There wouldn’t be other languages in the mix, and there would be no American customs in front of me.

It didn’t hit me until we pulled into town and stopped at his uncle’s restaurant to say hello. That’s when it really dawned on me that the next few days would be an experience unlike any I’d ever had.

And it truly turned into one of the best experiences of my life.

Oscar translated the entire time for me, digesting what his family and others said in Spanish, relaying it to me in English, waiting for my response and then reciting it back. What a good egg he is.

While we stayed with his cousin Carlos and his family, I met uncles, aunts, cousins and friends in both towns, especially because it was a holiday week. The Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos) is celebrated November 1st and 2nd, and is a grand, colorful and joyful celebration, honoring the lives of those who have died.

We stopped on the street to buy dozens and dozens of flowers. I asked myself what we possibly could do with all these flowers? And why were there vendors on seemingly every corner selling more of them?

Once I entered the cemetery in Atlacahualoya I knew: we would be decorating the graves and tombstones of family members who had passed on. Families would come together, celebrate and enjoy time together as they livened up their loved one’s final resting places.

We decorated the gravesites of Oscar’s paternal grandmother, aunts and great-grandparents there before doing the same for his maternal grandparents at the cemetery in Jonacatepec.

The display of candles, flowers and ornaments was breathtaking, and I was blown away, especially as nighttime arrived.

There was music, hugging, embracing and love all around us.

I was moved by the care put into each gravesite and the effort the families took to make it a memorable occasion.

Inside homes there were offerings, featuring loved ones’ favorite foods, pictures and displays.

We visited several homes during our stay, including the home of Roberto Pliego Hernandez and Irene Morales Aroche who showed us his offerings in honor of their children, Jose Roberto Pliego Morales and Juan Manuel Pliego Morales.

The couple displayed an offering of the things their children enjoyed: mole, beer and flowers. Also included in the tradition was “copal,” an incense to guide them home, along with candles to light their way there and back, pictures to remember them and a pinch of salt so their souls didn’t stay longer than for an evening of celebration.

Throughout my visit it was evident to me that the most important part of life in Mexico was family.

The families I spent time around were united, close knit and genuinely enjoyed socializing together.

There was a slowness and peace to life that moved me and, if I’m being honest, brought me to tears during a few moments.

I’d never stopped and watched families interact the way I did on this trip.

Perhaps the language barrier was a blessing. I wasn’t distracted by noise or television; I was content feeling the very real warmth of human kindness around me.

As we sat at the kitchen table sipping café de olla (coffee) and eating papaya and pineapple in the mornings, I marveled at the beauty of family and the calmness that surrounded life in Mexico.

I also observed the massive farmland throughout the area with onions, corn and peanut crops all around.

My heart was completely fully after spending five days with these family members and getting a taste of Mexican life.

Needless to say, I can’t wait to go back, although I’ve committed to practicing mi Español. I’ve downloaded Duolingo and am ready to embark on my newest adventure: learning another language.

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Mike McGinley is a Times Leader columnist who is often called a man about town. Email him thoughts at mikejmcginley@gmail.com.